Dear god…never in my life have I ever seen a collection of worthless spergs and manchildren whining about children’s cartoons in my entire life…
Hi there! So…yeah, I’ve been meaning to update this with the intent of covering Benthelooney’s videos and give an in-depth look as to why they all suck.
But the thing is…Ben’s videos are seriously boring. Like, sleep-inducing boring…he just goes on and on with no pauses or actual video footage to break up the monotony.
In addition, now that Benthelooney has “retired” (even though he’ll most likely be back in a month or so), there’s not much for me to work with. I mean, his last video was him talking about his favorite Disney videos. Honestly, it’s kind of harmless and I see no real problems with it. I was surprised that he actually likes “Frozen.” Thought for sure he would have hated it, but whatever.
Well anyway, the reason for this post is because I received a rather interesting comment from one kfcnyancat on YouTube. While I could just reply to his comment there, I thought it would be better to write a blog post here than clutter up the YouTube comment boxes with an unnecessarily long comment (seriously people, I know there’s no character limits, but for the love of God people…).
Here’s his original comment as it was on YouTube:
Now, even though admittedly, I’m such a “big meanie” in the YouTube comments, here I am going to be as civil as I can and reply to his comments in a fair manner. So here we go.
No. The reason that “it’s for kids” doesn’t mean it has an excuse to suck is because:
Oh, here we go, let’s hear it.
Adults should be able to look back fondly on their childhoods.
I agree, but the thing is with Benthelooney as well as most of the people who make rant videos on cartoons as well as comment in the comment sections of said videos, is that they’re not really being nostalgic for it because they look like they never gave it up. I can understand feeling nostalgic for things you liked as a kid, but your childhood has to end before you can feel nostalgic.
I mentioned before that watching “The 90’s Are All That” really brought me back to when I was at grandma’s sitting on her old green couch watching Rocko and Rugrats on “the big T.V.” in the living room.
However, that was then. I’m living in the now, where I go to college, go to work, try to pay off my share of the bills and make ends meet. In this day and age, I’m more worried about if I’ll be able to pay for gas and my tuition than I am about how Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, or any of these other networks I’ve long outgrown is “going down the toilet.”
It always annoyed me how these people go on about how Johnny Test is a disgrace to the legacy of cartoons or how Michael Bay is ruining their childhoods. Meanwhile, women are still fighting to have their voices heard, people in Africa have no food and are starving, and children in the Middle East continue to watch over their backs…but your precious childhoods. Yeah…that’s definitely depressing (/sarcasm).
Seriously, get your priorities straight people.
It makes it less grating for parents.
Parents who probably don’t watch cartoons because, like me, they have more important things to worry about than being annoyed by a cartoon? I know sometimes parents watch cartoons with their kids (mine did when I was younger), but even if it’s a show parents hate, I’m pretty sure they’re not really going to care whether or not it’s grating.
That philosophy is more humane to people who makes cartoons because because if everyone went by your philosophy…
Okay, I’m going to stop you right there. Where did this idea that “it’s for kids” was my philosophy? It’s not really. Sure I say it a lot, but it’s mostly for people who seriously are way too obsessive about cartoons, even those that really aren’t targeted for them. But I’ll explain more of that in the next comment…
Saying kids’ cartoons have an excuse to suck is just showing your 100% disrespect for kids. They are smarter than you think.
I never said that was an “excuse” for cartoons to suck. You’re just putting words into my mouth. And I’m still not exactly sure how I am “disrespecting” kids. Kids are kids, they will never be understood (especially by people like you who clearly don’t have kids and yet thinks you do). Kids are always going to like something that you think is stupid. Doesn’t mean they’re stupid, they’re just kids.
All I am saying is that people who rant about Johnny Test or Sophia the First or that CGI TMNT cartoon are pathetic because they’re ranting on a show that’s mainly geared towards children. That’s not just my opinion, that’s how anybody in today’s society who aren’t obsessed about cartoons see things as well.
Is it good when there exists a cartoon that does have some level of intelligence and respect for their audience, but to expect every cartoon to be like this (like what Benthelooney and every other awful internet ranter does) is just plain silly.
Have you ever seen reviews for Breadwinners?
No. See above for why I couldn’t give a shit.
SIX YEAR OLDS HATE THE SHOW! This means that kids are intelligent and they won’t take just anything.
So? What if kids liked it? What would you say then? Wait! I know this one! You’d probably go “UGH! Why can’t kids enjoy the cartoons I’d enjoy?!” or “Kids are so stupid these days! Thanks soccer moms!”
So basically your argument amounts to when kids like something I don’t, they’re stupid. But when kids hate something I also hate, they’re smart. Pretty biased there, eh?
Cartoons are art. They show an expression and/or tell a story.
Okay, I won’t deny that it is. It is definitely art. When it comes to Saturday morning cartoons though, I’m not sure I would call it “credible” art, but okay…
[Friendship is Magic] tells the story of…
Fuck you! No really, fuck you and every fucking brony who put this fucking cartoon on such a high pedestal! I mean, really…what is it with people and this god-forsaken show?! Benthelooney does the same thing. When it comes time to pick the one cartoon that could sell people on your thought, instead of something with more widespread appeal like Looney Tunes or the old-school Mickey Mouse cartoons, you go and pick some show that was geared towards little girls (no fuck you, I don’t want to hear it) that pathetic, creepy manchildren picked up and sexualize the hell out of? No, you’re not breaking any social norms. If anything, you’re just reinforcing it (by showing how sexist and misogyny).
*takes deep breath*
Okay, here’s the deal. NOBODY outside of the niche part of the Internet sees “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” as something that could break down the “social barriers.” To most people, it’s a show about animated ponies mainly geared towards little girls. And no amount of dumbass Brony conventions and meetings can change that perception for society. In fact, as I said, you’re only reinforcing the social norms by showing why it’s in place.
If I may borrow a quote from The Fairly OddParents, when a child does it, it’s kind of cute.
But when an adult does it, it’s just plain creepy.
Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy tells about two kids doing stupid shit with the Grim Reaper, and if you don’t find it funny your sense of humor likely ranges between Adam Sandler and Post-cancellation Family Guy.
…or maybe they, like me, thought that it’s an okay show but not great and that Whatever Happened to Robot Jones was a more interesting show? Seriously, what the fuck? Is that how you typecast people who don’t like the same things you do? “Oh my god, they don’t like Billy and Mandy?! Gah! They must love watching Adam Sandler movies!”
Oh and by the way, Family Guy is an alright show just for a couple of cheap laughs.
I think I have said everything that I could ever say about kfcnyancat’s retarded ass comment. Well there was that one time when he said that he would pray for me (yes, actually PRAY for me) because how dare I don’t recognize the genius that is children’s cartoons.
Really, go fuck yourself kfcnyancat.
So why I decide on which one of Benthelooney’s videos to start off on. I like to take this time to point out some of the biggest recurring issues that appear in all of Benthelooney’s videos. I will go into greater detail on specific things he says in later blog posts, but these are just the issues that continue to pop up in his work.
1) He’s a nostalgia-tard
Yeah, I’m sure fanboys are tired of hearing this all the time from his “haters,” but it’s true. Ben is a total nostalgia-tard, which he apparently thinks that’s something to be proud of (Ben Rants: Cartoon Network Part 4, 0:29). Umm…no, that’s not something to be proud of, Ben. Most people look down on nostalgia-tards…and rightfully so.
He also likes to take pride in the fact that he’s a 90’s kid. And like every other person on the internet, apparently that puts him on a higher pedestal than everybody else. Sure he probably doesn’t think that, but he sure acts like it from some of the things he says in his videos.
It just really annoys me that so many people proclaim that cartoons from the 90’s and early 2000’s are the greatest ever and that kids nowadays are doomed to being degenerates. Folks, here’s the reality: those cartoons you loved as a kid, they weren’t that great. The only reason why you think today’s cartoons suck is because you’re “adults” now. Unlike when you were kids, you now know what logic and reasoning is, so of course you’re not going to like the random and stupid cartoons kids are watching nowadays.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy watching cartoons from my youth as well, especially the Nicktoons on “The 90’s Are All That.” “Rocko’s Modern Life” is still one of my all-time favorites, “Hey Arnold” I think is still pretty good too, and “CatDog” is actually much better than I remember it. “Ren and Stimpy”
…actually fuck “Ren and Stimpy.”
But the point is while I do enjoy those cartoons and I think they’re entertaining, I don’t think they’re masterpieces…nor do I expect every cartoon on T.V. to be the greatest thing ever. I mean, they’re just cartoons. Just simple shows meant to entertain and shut your kids up for a few minutes. That’s really all cartoons are. It’s great when they’re well written and they respect the audience’s intelligence, but again…not every cartoon has to be like that. And I think that Benthelooney has ridiculously high standards for such cartoons, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
If there’s one thing about the internet that I despise so much is that it’s given a voice to all of these people who think they know society well, but really they’re just children who refuse to grow up.
But I said enough about that…moving on.
2) The stuff he rants about
It’s funny…Ben is notorious for his rant videos, but in all seriousness they’re not really that different from any other basement-dwelling loser who rants about childish crap.
Basically there are times when he rants about things that most normal adults don’t really about care or he dedicates several parts to a topic that really did not warrant making an hour-long expose about.
For example, he made a FIVE-PART RANT ABOUT CARTOON NETWORK?! Yes, he made a video, broken up into five parts…talking about some channel geared towards children (not counting [adult swim])?!
Here are a handful of topics he ranted about that again most people would at most just shake their heads at: the Disney Vault, Cartoon Network (FIVE FUCKING PARTS?!?!), Disney Channel (FOUR PARTS?! WHY?!?), Disney Channel’s Scheduling (no…really), Nickelodeon (three parts this time), Logos (come on, really?!), other television networks, various cartoon shows, and commercials.
Oh, there was this one time when he ranted about politics…but, really? You think anyone gives a rat’s ass about what a guy who obsesses over cartoons have to says about Obama or the government. If you do, you are a sad human being.
3) Immature jokes and childish humor
Yeah…this one is pretty self-explanatory. He’s not funny. Sorry fanboys, but he’s not. “Oh, but Clay, humor is subjective!” No…he’s not funny. And you think he is, then you’re just as delusional as he is. I can easily write a book on why every joke Ben tells fails, but rather I’ll just point them out individually when I look at his videos.
4) He won’t shut up about shows he likes/hates
Oh…my…god. This is one of his biggest faults. It’s easily his most annoying fault. Because Benthelooney seems to find almost all modern cartoons nowadays to be unworthy, if he finds a modern cartoon that catches his fancy, he will talk about it endlessly. And I mean it, he never shuts up about it. He’ll place them on a high pedestal and will want everyone to know of these cartoon’s greatness.
HiHi Puffy Ami Yumi, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and now Gravity Falls. In regards to Gravity Falls, he loves the show SO much that he felt the need to rant about how Disney is not scheduling it properly. Seriously…
Likewise, if he finds a cartoon that he hates or “disrespects the original cartoons,” he will develop a frankly unhealthy obsession with said show and will constantly bring it up whenever he deems it necessary.
Probably the best example of this is his attitude towards “The Looney Tunes Show.” Boy, does he have a grudge against this show (even though, it’s just a fucking cartoon). He made a THREE-PART VIDEO dedicated to expressing his hate on “The Looney Tunes Show.” All together the rant is 45 minutes long. 45 FUCKING MINUTES!! Is someone seriously going to sit down and watch 45 minutes of someone whining about “The Looney Tunes Show.” For God’s sake, you could watch an entire episode of the show and form your own opinion!
Now those rant videos were made in 2011 (parts one and two) and 2012 (parts three). Then in 2013 he rants about “change” (yeah, I know…I’ll cover the stupidity of that video later) and at 4:38…he brings up “The Looney Tunes Show” again! Like…seriously…it’s been two years and you’re still obsessing over that show. Jesus Christ, get the fuck over it already!
Enough of this, let’s move on.
5) ALL of his intros are cringe-worthy
At the start of all of his videos, he begins with “Welcome back to [Ben Rants/Ben Salutes/whatever] and when I was a kid…[zombies movies didn’t have their own genre/animals weren’t shot at/a woman’s place was in the kitchen, not in politics].”
Okay, I made that last one up, but the point is he says that same phrase at the start of every video. For some reason, I just can’t help but cringe at every single one. I don’t know what it is, but every time he starts the video that way, I just get this huge douche chill from him.
He’s kind of like MrRepzion in that every word comes out of his mouth has the “douchiness” of it accentuated and he sounds like a total tool.
By the way, MrRepzion sucks too and you suck for liking him, but let’s stay focused here.
6) His really stupid euphemisms
And speaking of cringe-worthy, his euphemisms for curse words are really childish…like unbelievably childish…as in “he’s way too old to be doing this” childish. Seriously…bull-spit? Truck you? Bass-hole? Why can’t you say “bullcrap” or “screw you?’ Better yet, why don’t you curse?
Do you not realize how stupid these euphemisms sounds? What’s the point of censoring yourself? Are you worried that children might come across your videos and repeat any bad words you say? Honestly, parents who let children watch your shit should have their kids taken away.
Bottom line: all these euphemisms do is just prove how childish you really are (amongst other things).
7) He has ridiculously high standards for simple children’s cartoons
I’ve lost count of how many times I watched a Benthelooney rant video, only to go “it’s just a fucking cartoon, dude.”
I said it before earlier, but I’ll say it again: folks, the cartoons you loved as a kid weren’t that great. They’re not wonderful works of art that must be respected by all. They’re just cartoons. They’re just simple shows meant to simply entertain. I don’t want to hear any arguments from anybody about how cartoons are more than that, because Ben has already ruined that for you guys.
Hell, I bet even the guys at Disney and Dreamworks who live and breathe cartoons have other more mature interests besides cartoons. I don’t think even they treat the medium this highly.
8) Benthelooney’s videos are lazy
Man…how do I even begin to describe how unimaginably lazy Benthelooney’s videos are.
For starters, there’s the stuff he rants about. Children’s television network, cartoons, internet celebrities, wrestling, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo…where have I seen that before? Oh yeah, every other ranter on YouTube. Benthelooney brings nothing new to the table. In fact, he actually brings it down to a much lower level.
Regarding his actual videos, his videos are nearly identical to the Nostalgia Critic videos. And when I say identical, I mean they’re almost the same format. Both bring up a show, hype it up to be one of the worst things they have ever seen, and then they go through the entire show/movie nitpicking various details and highlighting notable moments.
However unlike Benthelooney, the Nostalgia Critic actually uses footage from the TV show/movie to show what he is talking about. Not only does it provide a visual to back up his points, but it also breaks up the monotony of just hearing him talk. Ben, on the other hand, just puts up static images of himself or what he’s talking about and just drones on and on endlessly about everything is happening without actually showing it. Let me tell you, nothing puts you to sleep faster than just hearing Ben talk non-stop. In addition, not showing the actual footage is both lazy and unprofessional.
He doesn’t even use professional sound effects. Instead, he just makes his own sound effects, such as the babies crying in his rant on “Teen Titans Go!”
His reasons for not using movie footage or actual sound effects is because he doesn’t has the editing programs necessary to do it. BULLSHIT! You mean to tell me that you can’t find the clips you need on YouTube, use a simple YouTube downloader and download the clips to your computer? Even Windows Movie Maker lets you edit in actual footage! And you can find free sound effect downloads on Google easily. You’re just a lazy-ass, plain and simple.
9) “His character”
And finally, I come to the last problem with Benthelooney’s videos and it is by-far the worst…his “character.” Yes, you see if you watched any of Benthelooney’s videos, you would think that you were watching an immature child who clearly has issues with moving on from his childhood.
Oh but you see, Ben is just “playing a character.” You can’t call him on his faults or his mistakes, because it’s just a video and he’s just “playing a character.” You’re just taking things too seriously.
Okay, here’s the deal. Doug Walker plays a character too, and so does James Rolfe. But if they make a mistake or say/do something stupid, people will call them out on it and usually they’ll respond accordingly.
Hell, even no-name, small-time reviewers like the Hardcore Kid and the Hero of Tomorrow are just playing characters. But if those two ever done or say something stupid (and they have), people will call them out on it and the two will man up and admit it (even though I don’t care for either of their videos, that’s one thing I give them credit for).
My point is, just because you’re just playing a “character” doesn’t excuse you from criticism or commentary, especially since the “character” is more or less just you. Don’t deny it. It is just you. At least with Doug and James when they play their characters, I can tell what’s their actual opinion and what’s just the character. You? No, you and your “character” are just one in the same.
Whew…that was a long post. If you managed to actually read all of that, I salute you. Hopefully, next time I’ll cover one of Ben’s videos in greater detail.
Until then, I’ll see you guys later!
Honestly, I never thought I would stoop so low as to do this. Really, I never meant for this to happen. I acknowledge that writing a blog solely dedicated to just ONE guy on YouTube is both sad, pathetic, and a tad bit obsessive (oh that’s three things. Meh…whatever). Initially, I would just leave a few comments on his videos, maybe say a few words to his fans as to why Benthelooney sucks and that’ll they are contributing to even more mediocrity on YouTube.
But then I started to realize something. It used to be that you watch cartoons as a kid and as you got older you distance yourself away from cartoons and maybe get into more adult literature and television programming. And when you became an adult, sure you would look fondly at your childhood and the cartoons that helped shaped it, but you never lose track of the future and you head towards making yourself self-reliant and a contributing member to society.
But thanks to the advent of the internet, now all of these manchildren who refuse to grow up and move on from their childhoods have been given a choice which appeals to other manchildren who refuse to grow up. Suddenly, blog posts and videos on YouTube begin to appeal to these manchildren, the lowest kinds of people, and now there exists a sub-group that thinks it’s okay to be stuck in your childhood, treating cartoons and other childish things to ridiculously high standards. All while real adults look at them with confusion, pity, and in some cases terror.
It’s a sad state of affairs…
Let me make this clear, you can watch cartoons. You can enjoy cartoons. You can write fanfiction, fan art, or cosplay at conventions or whatever. I mean, it’s all harmless fun. But that’s not really my issue with this whole ordeal. It’s really hard to put into words, but basically my issue is with these cartoon enthusiasts who live and breathe cartoons and talk about them as if they were works of art that must be preserved. These people are the ones who refuse to grow up and move on into adulthood. These are the people whose whole life seem to just be about cartoons, childish things (like snacks and toys), internet culture, and YouTube celebrities and act as if they matter in the real world.
I bet you people reading this have all met someone like this. Hell, I had to deal with someone like this for a whole semester. This particular individual (who shall remain nameless) actually referenced Armake21 as their sole reason for why he thought the world was going to end in 2012. I’m not kidding.
And these people are growing in numbers. As evidence, I use Benthelooney’s subscriber count. It was only about seven months ago that Benthelooney only had a mere 3,000 subscribers. As I’m writing this, he now has 4,883 subscribers. These people are just growing in numbers. More and more people are actually buying into what he’s saying. They’re suddenly getting this mindset that it’s okay to live in the past. It’s okay to live in this demented Neverland of their childhood and never grow up. I fear that this will all lead to them overshadowing humanity and bringing them down to self-destruction.
And that’s why I’m making this blog…
Benthelooney, whether he knows it or not, represents the absolute worst of the cartoon fandom and only contributes to this downfall of humanity. While admittedly, he’s not the only ranter to be talking about this kind of crap on YouTube, he’s arguably the most well-known. And his videos are truly something to behold. They’re moronic, they’re lazy, they’re highly immature and horribly staged, they’re incredibly unfunny…
So the overall premise of this blog is to painstakingly go through Benthelooney’s videos and point out the bullshit in them. Any time he makes a mistake, any time he says something stupid or immature…I will be sure to point them. I also labeled this blog’s url as “benthelooney” so that way anyone Googling him will find this blog easily.
I hope you folks will enjoy what I have to say.